Day 1: Current Relationship

Yesterday was my 8 month anniversary with my boyfriend and like other important developments it's a day to day process. In that time frame, I've built for myself with him security and happiness.

When I say Security, I mean both the emotional and the physical kind. I have always been a emotionally fragile and physically self conscious. As the months have accumulated, he's been the one to pull me from drowning in my emotions, to tell me that I'm beautiful for no other reason than just because he thinks so. I think what I've always wanted in a relationship, I've gotten my first time around. Sometimes it scares me that my first shot at love make me feel complete.

. . . and then comes happiness. The happiness I get from being with my boyfriend could not be replicated from financial success or material gain. I guess being an emotional person and holding everything in my life under a microscope of feeling: I feel complete. I feel invincible. I feel safe. I feel loved. I never expect everyday to be a happy one, but even if I fight with him, I know it's just temporary; and even if it's just missing him, I can chalk up the day as a day fully lived.

No matter if we're just lying down, talking about news, making hilarious inside jokes, taking trips, or just in his car talking about the mundane: the clock of life is ticking, time well spent.

Another Challenge: Winter Break Edition!

I'm in!

I need the exercise of a 30 DAY LETTER CHALLENGE!!!!

• Day 1 - Your best friend
• Day 2 - Your crush
• Day 3 - Your parents
• Day 4 - Your siblings (or closest relative)
• Day 5 - Your dreams
• Day 6 - A stranger
• Day 7 - Your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
• Day 8 - Your favorite internet friend
• Day 9 - Someone you wish you could meet
• Day 10 - Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
• Day 11 - A deceased person you wish you could talk to
• Day 12 - The person you hate the most/caused you a lot of pain
• Day 13 - Someone you wish could forgive you
• Day 14 - Someone you’ve drifted away from
• Day 15 - The person you miss the most
• Day 16 - Someone that’s not in your state/country
• Day 17 - Someone from your childhood
• Day 18 - The person that you wish you could be
• Day 19 - Someone that pesters your mind - good or bad
• Day 20 - The one that broke your heart the hardest
• Day 21 - Someone you judged by their first impression
• Day 22 - Someone you want to give a second chance to
• Day 23 - The last person you kissed
• Day 24 - The person that gave you your favorite memory
• Day 25 - The person you know that is going through the worst of times
• Day 26 - The last person you made a pinky promise to
• Day 27 - The friendliest person you knew for only one day
• Day 28 - Someone that changed your life
• Day 29 - The person you want to tell everything to, but too afraid to
• Day 30 - You refection in the mirror

. . . .

I am not dead. This blog was just in a coma.

Tumblr is starting to look enticing.

Although, Tumblr is more for graphics and I'm more into words.

I'll think about it.

Need v. Want

Do you ever pause for a moment while you sit in your air controlled room, next to name brand clothes, in front of expensive electronics with internet and realize how luck you are. That when you say "I'm hungry, I'm going to die" that your exaggeration is something literal to someone else. That the clean water you leave running in your sink is something so pure, something some people have never seen or tasted.

These epiphanies hit me especially when I find myself in my 2 year old car, complaining that I have no tint or envying someone with a nicer car: I shouldn't be this selfish, it wouldn't be fair. Right now there is an elderly person out there sitting on a bench without shade at a bus route stop in the Laredo heat.

I am disgusted with myself by even thinking I am worse off, I need to remember to count my blessings more often. It's weird to know that in this world there are people with several sports cars, mansions, and savings accounts and yet there are also people without clean water or enough food. It's humbling to think of all the poverty there is in the world and the lack of basic necessities out there. In retrospect, I have the world, we all do.

Academic Competition

I am staring at the trophies I won in UIL; I earned these a year ago or two. I think I am going to throw them in the trash save for my first place trophy I won at Alexander and my district medals. I miss Literary Criticism and Editorial Writing: good memories.

Your mom is futile

"Writing in this blog is not futile. As I read my last post I laugh at my "cute" idea of getting organized and prepared for my 2nd semester of college. Currently, I've dug myself into an academic hole that I have a 3-day weekend to fix. I'll cut myself some slack: I'm human. However, I won't allow myself to be consumed with procrastination and apathy any longer. I literally can't afford it."